Sunday, July 30, 2006

Hai, my birthday is coming near, i thought i would be happy, but guess well, it was never meant to be?

To her: i guess..well I have some explantion to do. About alot of things, ya...but just 2 of the main reason. Well, i guess the first and foremost thing on your mind will be why i did not tell u? its not that i didnt want to let u know or rather is that i sort of know how the answer will come about. I mean i can feel how is it that you feel and i knew the answer like 2 months ago? Also i knew that i may never see u again so thats something that i didnt want to happen at all. I guess now that u asked me first, i couldnt say no..then ya. thats that i suppose.

Secondly will be why i fallen for u? Well, i guess its just that u make me feel very me whenever im aroud or chatting with u. I mean i guess i can just be myself and dont have to be somebody that i am not. Everytime when i chat or talk with you i feel very happy, thats this undescribe feeling that i feel but just words cant explain it alone. Spending time with u is very simple in both the word and real sense. I guess u bring simplicity into my life, something that i have not known existed in this world, like i can do any normal things and just be happy, which is the most important thing.

Hai, thats my post for today, had alot of crying done...i hope it will be over soon, but i dont think so. Thoughts of u still cross my mind every now and then, the past few nights of you in my dreams.

Why is loving someone so painful? its because u know that there will never be another person like the one u love. Sure u can move on and find some other girl to fall in love with, but the new person cant take the place/character/personality of the one that u used to loved in your heart. No 2 person can be the same so even if u fall in love with some other person, the qualities are just not the same. And for that u will always be a special person in my heart.

Argument with my mom just now over my uncle's van which i borrowed last night which had a scratch and dent which i may have to pay for it. My church friends who alot of them last minute tell me they cannot come for my birthday dinner tonight. Dont think will be able to go out and celebrate her birthday with her or maybe ever see her again. This is such a sadden week...hai...wadever lar....2 more days my birthday, this is my life right now and at this moment, heartbroken and depressed....

Happy Birthday Daryl....