This I Promise You

Friday, May 28, 2004

Why is this feeling inside of me?why why why ?? what have i done to deserve this? all that i ever wanted was to make things easier and make others happy. i hurt so much,now even crying when im doing this post that i feel like i should just give up everything.

i really dont know whats going to happen to me, maybe i was meant to be like this all along. i dont even feel alive anymore, i feel dead,even if i was in the reality sense,whos going to bother about me?the day my life died was when u went away, now all i want is just to make it through the day, i dont take any special interest in anything at all. theres just no more meaning in my life, all of it gone away, like dust in the wind. Being swept away just like that.

there was a time when i was truly deeply happy, all i ever wanted was to provide you with happiness, but now im just another person on this world, who doesnt make any difference to you or anybody else. why must i feel like this? i dont know, i somehow deeply wish i could have done something to make things alright.god, what is happening to me?? i am so bless and all i wanted was to cherish you more then anything else in this world,all that i've sacrifice, it was all that i wanted to make you happy, that was within my power to make things,lives,dreams come true, that was all that mattered to me.

I've never felt like this in my entire life,this saddness,misery,loneliness. im just so sick of everything, everything that i do or have done seems to be wrong, i've never ask for anything at all, not from god or anybody. all i wanted in my life the day i started to love you was just to love you more and more and to cherish you.In all my dreams, i've never experience all the love that you've brought me, nothing else matters except the love i have for you and you alone.

Maybe i deserve to be like this,after all that happened. Maybe all the love in this world cant be said in this sentences or shown, then i really do not know how it can be done. Caused i've tried and god knows i tried so hard, all that im able to do. Maybe it just wasnt good enough. i guess everybody knows how much i loved you, and only you.

i will never have become what i am today if it had not been for you. I've really been changed by whatever it is you had done for me, nobody else could make me feel this way that i am feeling now, crying and all while doing this post.i am sorry if i had in my life hurt you, i didnt mean anything by it. i believe and i've realise that love does not come easily and it may not come again or it may just come once and past you by but for all that is worth, i realise that i cant live without you,i dont know how to and even if i wanted to, its just not going to work. I rather die then let this emotion continue to play with me,I am so sorry, please forgive me, maybe you will not understand of what i've been saying all along, but maybe in time, you'll understand what i am feeling and going through.

Just wish i could have spent more time with you, knowing that you have been the world to me,i am so glad that i could not ask for more, now right under the stars of the entire galaxy,i have come to know the love i have for you, its so beautiful, one that i will cherish for eternity, and the dreams and everything else that i had. Gone are the days when i will know true happiness,all that i have and all that i am, i hope that it will make a diffference one day, if it ever comes to that.

The promise i made to you
went through my mind again at 1:37 AM.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

okie,decided to try and update my blog whenever i can lar.yea,well,today went for x-country run,came in 50-100 position..sigh,anyway,consider it good as i have never train for it + im a short distance runner but i know i can do better. well,after that got drag by my prefect juniors to join them play bowling..i didnt play, i just went to see them play. thats abt all. gd nite ppl !

The promise i made to you
went through my mind again at 1:29 AM.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
To work side by side
and then smile with pride
As one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
To take time to share
to listen and care
In tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
To be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
As a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
Of all the good things
that sharing life brings
Love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

something tat i tink will help me..but i dunno how its gona help..it only hurts more n more...like the wounds getting deeper n deeper n sometimes u wish it wuld end but it doesnt it juz keeps going on n on...love never has an ending,it is eternal and forever it may be.

The promise i made to you
went through my mind again at 12:23 AM.

Friday, May 14, 2004

hello ppl, long time since i last blog,oh well, ppl wanted me,in fact only 1 person,haha..but oh well,decided to update my bloggy, so here it is =) hows life? alrite i guess..what else can u say when life juz goes on,like everyday the sun rises n sets,its doesnt change anything,just the usual sunrise and sunset.Had duck rice for lunch! har jam!at lest i think that singapore duck rice is nicer then aust? oh well, i think i update later lar..nt much to update as of the moment..take care guys!

The promise i made to you
went through my mind again at 3:47 PM.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

hmm,ok..blog for awhile i guess, since i have like nt really the mood to blog, well, things in my life are really..erm,different, its not the same anymore as it was before..its just a sad different for me, nt the usual for the better kind. nt sure whether anytime soon i will be better, but maybe for a long time to come..yea, went out with the farm last saturday and i felt so left out..sigh..things are really different.

anyway,nowadays i just read new books, keep reading and reading..try to take my mind of things, but the dreams still wont let off in the night..till then, i chow now..

The promise i made to you
went through my mind again at 2:47 PM.